How do we navigate our way through the fields of difficult people in a mindful, peaceful way? Anything you do to improve your life always has to with looking at yourself, because you are the only thing you can control. We all deal with the stress and difficulties of the world, but how can we do this without being robbed of our joy and sanity? Here are ways that I try to deal with people that I find difficult to deal with.

Realize when you’re dealing with an unreasonable person is to keep your composure. Trying to alter their point of view or explain is mute. I will not engage in a conversation that is one sided. I usually politely say “I don’t think you and I will see eye to eye on this and because I respect your opinion, I think we should just let this be.” I then politely excuse myself.

When you feel agitation arise it is very important to move out of that train of thought. Let it go. Use your energy more productively that brings feelings and emotions of joy and happiness, there is no need to stay in a negative state.

Life is so challenging and we all have judgments about other people and situations. I try to avoid conversations that engage in talking about someone else negatively. I usually bring up a response to shift the conversation to a positive state. Example: someone is talking about a friend or family member and things that don’t like, I would interject “have you tried talking to them about it?”, “what else can you do so you don’t continue to have these feelings?”. This changes the conversation to one of helping rather undermining. It is also a subtle reminder of the negativity. To live peacefully, we have to refrain from engaging in gossip, talking negatively about someone when they are not around.

Learn to change the subject. When you’re around people that are gossiping or talking about someone, shift the conversation by asking one of them something about themselves. Change the focus of the conversation to something positive. This steps requires awareness. Recognize when the negative talk starts and shift to an uplifting message or topic.

I am very committed to my core beliefs and never appreciate when someone tries to change who I am. With that being said, I extend that same respect to everyone else. This is when you use discernment to choose the people you want to associate with. If a conversation is leading to an argument or disagreement I just end it (refer to #1). If it seems just differing opinions but not hostile I work towards changing the subject (see #4).

We all have to attend social settings or functions that require us to be around people that we typically have nothing in common and lack the ability to relate with one another. Before you leave for the function, internally set the intention to be one of good, don’t think about the things that can go wrong, intend to offer hope, love and joy will. If things get uncomfortable, simply excuse yourself, engaging will only bring you more suffering.

In closing, I just want to say how important it is to you, your personal resonance, to remain at peace, filled with joy and love. In doing so, we can be a strong calming force in a world that needs all the love and positive reinforcement we can offer. Choose to be a messenger of hope, love and peace.

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