Icy road conditions, so no church. Guess I’ll just have to put on my minister hat and come up with my own homily for today. So this morning I was thinking about something I was discussing with someone over the weekend about letting someone go. Often we have people in our lives who in one way or another are toxic. This can be a friend, a partner or even a family member. So when do you know if/when it’s time to let them go? I think we all know when we’ve reached our personal limit. If it’s affecting you in a negative way, or making you physically ill, it’s probably time. If you’re feeling angry and resentful all the time, or if it’s consuming you or they’re consuming all of your time and your life, and if they’re dumping on you and leaving you an emotional mess, then it’s probably time to let them go. More than likely you’ve already tolerated it for way too long. But please don’t ever do something out of anger. It only breeds more resentment and hurt feelings. Often someone else who is affecting your life in a negative way may not even realize they are toxic. They may be so caught up in their own pain that they can’t see the pain they inflict on others. Recognize this and understand that it’s on them, not you. You are not unworthy of love or respect, they are just incapable of giving it. Just for a minute, remove yourself from the situation and step back, as if this were happening to your best friend, and ask yourself what you would tell your friend to do. Perhaps you’d suggest counseling to see if the relationship can be saved. Sometimes having the right tools can help one cope with a situation better. This may not be the case in an abusive relationship (physical or otherwise) in which case, get out and be safe! Know that you did all you could to try to make it better, but you can’t fix someone. Feeding into this toxic behavior is never going to change it. You can’t change someone or even encourage change, if they don’t recognize there’s an issue. So unless you can be there for someone without it affecting you, then it may be time to walk away. Again, never out of anger. Be grateful for whatever they brought to the relationship, as I’m sure it was once good. Recognize what you learned…either what you did or don’t want in a relationship, and take ownership for what part you played in all of it. And then, send them off in love, not anger…”I love you enough to know this isn’t good for either of us and I wish you well”. Not always easy, but sometimes necessary. Everyone deserves a love-filled, joy-filled life. Make that your priority, as we can’t heal or heal others unless we do. Blessings – Leslie ♥ Inner Calm Reiki